FUNDAS AT IITD

FUNDAS AT IITD

At the very onset of this seemingly useless piece of literature let me rather boringly begin with a hearty welcome. I indulge in this mundane yet sufficient opening primarily relying on past precedent which as you shall soon find out rules a majority of our decision making scenarios here at the epitome of innovation (no pun intended). You shall from time to time realize that this institution is by all means extremely far off as per your initial fresher, jee, cleared, coaching institute, knowledge seeking, “normal” frame of mind expectations. Yet as all who have had the privilege of walking through the hallowed hallways of MS you will come to appreciate, respect and love beyond all else this immensely valuable acreage better known to the majority as the Indian Institute of Technology.

When asked to produce (or reproduce from memory) Fundas for the incoming batch I suffered from a case of writer’s block (I’d like to assume here that I can under safe estimation be classified as a writer). The reason for the complete and utter abyss, which was my thought process, I came to the general and convenient conclusion that there was nothing that I could impart without a partisan towards either academics or that large sphere of interest broadly classified as non-academic. Also every iota of “knowledge” extracted at this great institute is de facto pragmatic and a realization subject to that very individual .Thus I resorted to (for the sheer interest of the completion of task allocated to yours truly) to forget about the moral high ground and politically correct view point and produce before you a view skewed, troubled and with an obvious and unhindered bias. That view is mine.


1.0 FUNDAS: any arbitrary theory proposed usually by an innovative yet eccentric individual which over a period of time has come to acquire respect among the majority of residents of a place called iitd.
2.0 C.G: an even more shortened version of an abbreviation that seems to consume everybody’s life here and is statistically the highest cause for night outs which can (according to a very popular myth primarily) be SOLVED quite simply by attending classes. Which you shall soon find out isn’t as easy as it appears.
3.0 NIGHT OUTS: rumour has it that this earth shattering phenomenon was actually introduced by Nescafe to boost sales but became popular essentially to discuss any arbitrary topic (read girls and CG).this usually results in one missing the next day’s classes which is in direct contradiction to the whole discussion to increase the aforementioned CG.
4.0 B.R.C.A: four letters which will change your life for your tenure here at iitd. Although the never ending events bringing out the competitive monster inside us all it is simply the sole refuge from the boredom that would be iitd without it. The shear thought of its absence sends a shiver down my spine.
5.0 MUGGU: one whose aspect suggest not that he has a high CG but rather one who would give heaven and earth to obtain the elusive. As you might have guessed this is nickname you want to keep yourself from even if the substitute is obscene or in keeping with social etiquette (reference in particular to boys hostel!)
6.0 HOSTEL: haven for all those seeking normalcy yet closer observation would lead us to believe that it is indeed the institution that promotes everything arbitrary and gives birth to the very eccentric thought process essential for formulating FUNDAS.
7.0 TIME TABLE: every iitians’s first formal introduction to the brave new world of slots, cycles (believe me it’s not what you’re thinking of…not even close), groups and mammoth geography that is INSTI.
8.0 PHP100: this is the sole course which every iitian claims to have worked hard at yet no one ever speaks fondly of the aforementioned, primarily because of the fact that they slogged for a measly 2 credits. This course is the glue that binds many years together through all the stories that have been shared.
9.0 NESCAFE: a common hanging out joint in the earlier part of the month but when wallets become lighter this “cool” place for “hot” coffee has its popularity reduced quite drastically. Each of the two present has their own charm and purposes which I believe should be left to the reader to find out on his own.
10.0 BUSES: an enigma of sorts, these iitd buses usually only seen when you’re 5 meters from your destination but when desperately late they mysteriously disappear of the face of the earth.
11.0 ATTENDANCE: probably the only word whose fear factor and tension creating index (we guys love coining our own terms) comes close to CG. Usually not an issue of concern for the duration of the first semester

As you might have noticed all points have been numbered in decimals which is a passion bordering on infatuation with all iitians. Also as mentioned before these are not hard and fast rules nor are they guidelines nor are they to be taken seriously under any circumstance. I shall also not be held responsible for any probable shortcoming in any sphere due to either the direct or the indirect application of the above Fundas (which serves as a form of political asylum for people such as me who just write for FUN). Another word of caution is that this list is neither exhaustive nor can it ever be. Any resemblance of Fundas to those already in circulation or those extinct is purely coincidental.

Now when you might be asking your self the efficacy of this futile attempt at humour, comes the more pertinent question with a proclivity towards the serious ….What pragmatic or hypothetical purpose did reading this serve to you? The answer to that question can only be found (at the risk of sounding philosophical) by indulging in an activity which one shall get accustomed to during one’s stay here. That “activity” is a free and unrestricted thought process (not necessarily provoked by this boring accumulation of eccentric ideologies). To think. That’s what you’re here to do. To think.